At all. "Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". "In America, anyone can become president. Related: When it comes to mass shootings, the problem isnt Republicans or the NRA. I firmly believe that if you vote, you have no right to complain. Now, some people like to twist that around. ", 55. "I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white, and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes every day, because the owners of this country know the truth: Its call the Amercian Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it., RIP George Carlin. The __qca cookie is associated with Quantcast. "Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. ", 5. You have OWNERS! You have no right to complain. "My mother would say, 'Why are you always playing alone?' These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. That's the problem. The cookie is a session cookies and is deleted when all the browser windows are closed. Because if everything is really the fault of politicians, where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans who are ready to step in and replace them? (LogOut/ ''It's called the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. They've got the judges in their back pockets. You know what they want? This problem can be solved by pre-school children in 5-10 minutes. "When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. This information is used to pick out ads delivered by the platform and assess the ad performance and its attribute payment. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. By programmers in one hour. Because you have the illusion of choice. ", 80. By the way, its the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he. They own you. ""I don't think we should be governing ourselves. You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. "People always tell me 'Have a nice day.' These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. This cookie is set by the provider The Guardian. "My advice: just keep moving straight ahead. 42. You'd have people tuning in don't even care about football! Theyre anti-woman, simple as it gets, he said. I, on the other hand, who did not vote -- who did not even leave the house on Election Day -- am in no way responsible for what these politicians have done and have every right to complain about the mess that you created.". How do school teachers handle this? George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you - YouTube 0:00 / 0:37 George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you ThreeToedPete 955 subscribers Subscribe 502 Share 35K. ", 2. "I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. ", Want more great quotes? Men are insecure about the size of their dicks, and so they have to kill one another over the idea. Good honest hard-working people white collar, blue collar, it doesnt matter what color shirt you have on. Now come the lawsuits, Weird Texas GOP bill would give big tax cuts only to hetero couples with lots of kids, Libs Of TikToks Chaya Raichik & Nikki Haley gave CPAC speeches to mostly empty rooms, 5 times The Onion brilliantly skewered J.K. Rowlings & The New York Times transphobia, A right-wing podcaster tried to smear Pete Buttigieg. George Carlin. What if puberty blockers are a kind of sex crime? The Onions fictional editor board asked in a mockery of The Times concern-trolling on trans issues. '", 70. The 2023 theme was "cooperation in a fragmented world," with WEF noting, "The world today is at a critical inflection point. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money. The ID is used for targeted ads. "The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. "Everyone smiles in the same language. They OWN YOU. George Carlin Shitting on GovernmentBuy Me a Pizzahttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/LaughPlGEORGE CARLINhttps://www.youtube.com/user/OfficialGeorgeCarlin/feedGeorge's websitehttps://georgecarlin.com/Social Media:\rInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/\rYoutube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiI_jyH_0yttWG-m5fBYGmA\rTwitter: https://twitter.com/laugh_planet\rWebsite: http://thelaughplanet.comContact us: ash98jha@gmai.com #GeorgeCarlin #Government #America #Comedy #LaughPlanet I prefer dogs, because dogs don't care. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. Everything He ever makes dies. "Maybe its not the politicians who suck; maybe its something else. ", 32. Thats against their interests. You have no choice. "Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. The _ga cookie, installed by Google Analytics, calculates visitor, session and campaign data and also keeps track of site usage for the site's analytics report. ", 10. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. F*ck Hope. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. Famous and remained in the controversies for his dark comedy and the reflections on politics, religions, and social taboo, Carlin is . They dont want to hear from you. It sounds like this: What, they have bigger dicks? Yeah, the public sucks. "I don't have pet peeves. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, Meow means woof in cat. George Carlin, When youre born you get a ticket to the freak show. Trouble is, most of them suck. "Bulls**t is truly the American soundtrack. Bluekai uses this cookie to build an anonymous user profile with data like the user's online behaviour and interests. But once you're born, you're on your own. The session information includes the identity of the user, recently visited links and the duration of inactivity. George Carlin. ", 103. He was as prolific as he was profound, with a career spanning nearly five decades, 23 albums, 14 HBO specials, 130 Tonight Show appearances and three books (plus posthumous releases). The sp_t cookie is set by Spotify to implement audio content from Spotify on the website and also registers information on user interaction related to the audio content. "But what I want them to know is that Im thinking. ", 28. It also helps in fraud preventions. ", 102. This narrative is based on a deliberate fiction. Quantserve sets the mc cookie to anonymously track user behaviour on the website. Bomb them! And of course, the bombs and the rockets and the bullets are all shaped like dicks. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. "You show me a lazy p***k who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to p**s, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble. Maybe this time itll work. This cookie is set by Rubicon Project and is used for recording cookie consent data. Being woke, leading the charge in cancel culture, fighting censorship, and supporting those who are vulnerable and don't have a voice. This cookie is set by the provider Mixcloud. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. No nothing. George Carlin was a comedian and social critic. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? [5] And another one: This cookie is used for preventing the installation of third party advertiser or other cookies on the browser. ", 46. "Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. ""The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever til the end of time! ", 79. There's a nice campaign slogan for somebody: 'The Public Sucks. Some critics felt that Ice Cube's willingness to work with Republicans signaled his support for Trump. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. And they own all the big media companies, so that they control just about all of the news and information you hear. "Politicians are there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. ", 30. They want obedient workers. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. "One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. ", 117. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. Change), You are commenting using your Twitter account. Its you. That would be a nice realistic campaign slogan for somebody: The public sucks. The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.". 3 queens who slayed while imitating Rep. George Santoss drag alter ego, Kitara Rivache, Libs Of TikTok's Chaya Raichik & Nikki Haley gave CPAC speeches to mostly empty rooms, Tennessee issues trans healthcare ban & nation's first drag ban. And nobody seems to notice. ", 8. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. ", 91. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. He saw it from a . And they all vote. "If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnt the whole airplane made out of that stuff? January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. And if somehow, you must join, if its unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go ahead and join. Where are these people hiding? ", 10. YSC cookie is set by Youtube and is used to track the views of embedded videos on Youtube pages. War is a whole lot of men standing out on a field waving their pricks at one another. ", 121. The _omappvp cookie is set to distinguish new and returning users and is used in conjunction with _omappvs cookie. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. Ice Cube may be engaging in a political kerfuffle with Democrats following the news of his latest partnership with President Donald Trump's administration for the "Platinum Plan," but the rapper and actor is keen on letting his fans and followers know that he is not necessarily banding together with the government, despite what the past week of headlines might suggest. Cloudflare sets this cookie to improve page load times and to disallow any security restrictions based on the visitor's IP address. "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. '""I have solved this political dilemma in a very direct way: I don't vote. His beliefs in fairness and equality in. "I don't know if we could count on any parties to get us out this s**t, to be honest. ""Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? "I think people shouldbe allowed to do what they want. '", 73. The challenge is to find it. George Carlin, What if there were no hypothetical questions? George Carlin, The planet is fine. In the footage from his 1996 HBO special, "Back In Town," Carlin tears into the pro-life movement: "Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to 9 months. ", 6. Used by Zoominfo to enhance customer data. George Carlin quotes and jokes about politics and religion "Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. They dont wanna hear from you. "If you cant say something nice about a person, go ahead. 125 George Carlin Quotes 1. "People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point. Jesse Kelly wanted to whip his followers into homophobic outrage, but it sure AF didnt work. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin, Men are from Earth; women are from Earth. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. ""Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. Ice Cube visits the "Sway in the Morning" show with Sway Calloway on Shade 45 at SiriusXM Studios on December 07, 2018, in New York City. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he embodied America's intellectual counter culture and provided sanctuary from the crisis of modernity. They own and control the corporations. And nobody seems to notice, nobody seems to care. This cookie is used for advertising, site analytics, and other operations. ", 82. That is against their interests. That's about as close as you could get to pegging him as any party affiliation. But dont participate; it will be your death. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. George Carlin, I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimers disease where they slowly began to recover other peoples lost memories. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. they don't wanna know about you. The great American comedian George Carlin died on June 22, 2008 at the age of 71. The _omappvs cookie, used in conjunction with the _omappvp cookies, is used to determine if the visitor has visited the website before, or if it is a new visitor. "It's never just a game when you're winning. Good honest hard-working people continue these are the people of modest means Continue to elect these rich cocksuckers who dont give a fuck about you. Everybody complains about politicians. "Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bulls**t they teach you in school. Everybodys going to save something now. Ice Cube added the brief caption, "Facts.". The game is rigged. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. "Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. If You're Preschool, You're F*cked': Read George Carlin's Epic 1996 Rant Against Anti-Abortion Conservatives . 4. Craziest Republican Quotes of the 21st Century, The Funniest Political Quotes of All Time, Funny Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes as Actor and Politician, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. 27 Feb 2023 13:57:17 This cookie stores a visitor's unique identifier for Chartbeat tracking on the site. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. George Carlin may be dead, but his spirit lives on. A unique user identifier cookie, set by Microsoft Application Insights software, that enables counting of the number of users accessing the application over time. "So, have a little fun. Weve added years to life, not life to years. The great George Carlin once said in an interview that he divorced himself from concerns and problems from the world. Carlin did this better than anyone else. This is the best we can do folks. ", 42. Full transcript of George Carlin's "Dumb Americans," excerpted from "Life is Worth Losing, his 13th live comedy stand-up special, performed at the Beacon Theatre in New York City for HBO. Deal with it. George Carlin. This cookie is used for implementing audio files on the website. Let's start with critical race theory. Even right-wingers are getting tired of their queerphobic schtick. They will do anything for the unborn. Don't miss a beat. Others see it half empty. The Romantic Comedy You Should Watch This Valentines Day, Based On Your ZodiacSign, Valentines Day Streaming Guide: The Best Rom-Coms To Binge On Netflix, HBO Max, AndMore, How Narcissists Use Dog Whistling To Covertly Abuse You: Signs Of This Dangerous ManipulationMethod, 11 Christmas Movies To Watch If Youre Dealing With Heartbreak Over TheHolidays. Provided by amazon-adsystem to make advertising messages more relevant to the users and their interests. Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth Losing. "'Bipartisan' usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. ", 122. Answer (1 of 16): He hated mostly all politicians. ", 68. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelette? George Carlin, Laugh often, long and loud. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. Cookie associated with embedding content from Snapchat. Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school. George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point. George Carlin, Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read. After that, they don't wanna know about you. You think the schools are the way they are by accident? Thats what the owners count on. Which doesn't make any sense at all. ""Deep Throat: Think about it. '""The difference between left and right of centeroriginated in the Frenchparliament. You probably know what pinkwashing and queerbaiting are, but how about abrosexual and multisexual? ", 58. Keep your circle small. I mean, life is tough. 234. ", 97. George Carlin on Being Arrested for Performing "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" Johnny Carson 325K views 3 months ago George Carlin - Stand Up About Religion Matti Holden 13M. You voted them in. The Great George Carlin. He also suggests that politicians are merely the puppets bringing big businesses plans and ideas to fruition. He famously said he didn't vote, so he couldn't be to blame for whatever shit show we got ourselves into. "There's no present. 41. "I was a loner as a child. A 2018 survey by the Pew Research Center reports that less than half the country says elected officials care what . Toothpicks? You work forty years until youre young enough to enjoy your retirement. ", 105. "If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? This is set on the first visit of the visitor to the site and updated on subsequent visits. Carlins truth-telling about the influence of corporations in America and the willful blindness that allowed someone like Trump to assume power. They are irrelevant. They believe a womans primary role is to function as a broodmare for the state.. That doesnt help them. Try spelling Evian backward. Others see it half empty. Enter your email address below then click "FOLLOW" to receive email notifications of new posts. They own everything. "The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. "Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. Bing Ads sets this cookie to engage with a user that has previously visited the website. ", 104. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. This cookie, set by YouTube, registers a unique ID to store data on what videos from YouTube the user has seen. "Forget the politicians. This cookie is associated with Django web development platform for python. "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. ", 114. I don't like cats. It will not be with jack-boots. ""Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. I just dont have as many people who believe it. George Carlin, Now, theres one thing you might have noticed I dont complain about: politicians. #AmericaWakeUp. ", 90. ", 49. Photo: Matthias Clamer (modified by author) Source: Getty Images One-liner jokes. They don't want to hear from you . "Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails. And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. These Politicians Don't Care About You At All The failures of people who supposedly represent the people Photo by Marco Oriolesi on Unsplash When people elect leaders in a democracy, the. ", 4. "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. Everyones at the mall, scratching his balls and buying sneakers with lights in them. "Governments don't want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. This cookie is set by Segment to help track visitor usage, events, target marketing, and also measure application performance and stability. If youre offended by foul language dont watch this f**king video. ", 125. AWSALB is an application load balancer cookie set by Amazon Web Services to map the session to the target. Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. ", 81. Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. ", 29. Theyre not interested in that. Thats the problem. George Carlin, I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. George Carlin, Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking; theywant obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. George Carlin, How can He be perfect? "Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. "I have as much authority as the Pope. He has been widely cited as a political humor expert and authored two books on the subject. [] I look at war a little bit differently. "If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. Fascism won it. This cookie is used for embedding The Guardian video player. The GUC cookie is set by Yahoo for Yahoo conversion tracking. And apparently, I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. "You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby . You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating and you finish off as an orgasm. George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full. ", 119. Pattern Integrity Films set the bit to photos and video clips from modern-day America and the result is devastating.
Poly Todobakudeku X Reader,
President James Dean Monument Mythos,
Articles G
