Close to 20 years now. He was the love of my life. If you have trouble respecting anything else about your former spouse, at least respect the fact that they are your child’s parent and treat them accordingly. And now she’s no longer returning my phone calls. You were married to a narcissist. This can be very upsetting for your child and very frustrating for you. It doesn't hurt to research good family lawyers even after your divorce is final. Talk to the absent parent. 2. Every time we agree on a visit, she doesn’t show up. I know how this feels as it happened with me. Even though you may have a custody and access schedule, a parenting plan, a separation agreement, or court order that says when you spend time with your child, your partner may not let you see your child. So, in most situations, unless it can be proven that you will pose a risk to, or harm, your child, you will usually be granted some kind of contact. As a parent you may feel like your hands are tied, especially after a divorce or separation. Today, we’re going to talk about 11 reasons why your ex won’t talk to you anymore. And when one starts (it happens, we’re not perfect), we want to get out as quickly as possible. Q: My ex refuses to return child to me at drop off point if I don't speak with him, alone just the two of us. However he is demanding and unflexible and extremely rude. If your child screams at you, don’t scream back. How Your Narcissistic Ex Really Feels About Child Support. Co-parenting with a toxic ex comes with a set of hurdles. 179 Posts . Talk to your ex. Talk to your child about their refusal. Major decisions regarding the child’s health, education, and well-being are made together. Okay so me and my ex broke up 3 months ago, we haven’t talked for one month but then it was his birthday so i congratulated him, then we started talking again, we are friends now 2 months after break up, but i still love him and i don’t know if he feels the same, he told me … “My ex-husband doesn’t see his child” The woman's 11-year-old daughter's father would go months without seeing the girl, and instead spent all his time with his new girlfriend. I have been seperated over 2 years and divorced almost 1 year. Joint custody gives both parents full decision-making authority and responsibility in all areas respecting the child. Do you know how long it has been? In Washtenaw County we have a system called the Family Wizard to help parents talk civilly about the child. In a previous blog post, we explored the meaning of joint custody and reviewed some scenarios in which it would be the appropriate custodial situation for a child. I am repeatedly getting no response to emails, certified mail (won't claim it) regarding summer plans, etc. You remind her of the ‘bad old days’ and you are a part of a past that she would rather forget. Remember, we don’t want to start fights. If they won’t talk to you, reaching out will likely cause you more pain and frustration. Though I talk about how long you should stay in no contact, many people I speak with break because they believe that contacting their ex will cause something to happen.. Or they fear that their ex has forgotten them during no contact.. Children express resistance to staying with their other parent in different ways. They usually then schedule a call with me in a panic because their ex had a negative response to them. When the mom asked him why he didn't return the daughter's phone calls, he replied: “I don't have anything to say.” Keep track of all the missed visits and make notes with as much detail as possible. So instead, I suggest the following: 1. A child under five may appear clingy, cry, scream or pretend to be ill. I have seen no paperwork, he will not talk to me, & he hasn't let me talk to my girls. Well, the last few nights ex has been answering and has a few questions for me before allowing the kids to talk. Older children may become withdrawn, show disinterest or just be blunt and say, 'I don’t want to go'. Assure the other parent your only motive is to co-parent in a way that is best for the child. So, what are the options if your ex won’t sign a passport application form for your child? If you are making up reasons why you need to talk to them, then perhaps you need to get closure from yourself. Don’t send it; just get the feelings out there. When they are with me, he does not call them nor does he try and see them extra. It is hard losing that control over the way you're bringing up your child and the little things in their life like food, clothes, whether they're … Say for example she is in his care and he gave her medicine but refuses to talk to you so he doesn't speak, or takes her to the hospital during an emergency and doesn't call you. After you have exhausted all options (this means trying to talk to them and understand why they are worried, trying to persuade them, and mediation), there are only two things you can do: submit a B-9 form , and if that fails, get a court order. I know it hurts when your ex suddenly refuses to communicate with you and directs his or her attention toward something or someone else. I don't know why. He is obstanate and refuses to talk to me face to face, everything has to be done via email or text. When you say nasty things about your ex or use your child as a go-between you aren’t getting back at your ex, you’re harming your child. However, there's not a lot of tolerance when a child exercises that willpower by refusing visitation. And if your child refuses to talk to you, don’t refuse to talk to him. Whether you have detected the reason for the refusal or not, try to give your child the space and time that they obviously need. Once the smoke has cleared from a divorce, former spouses have to go about the business of raising kids together. And take heart: most cases of visitation refusal are temporary. 2. Since its so late, I have told ex we will have to talk another time- please put the kids on- refuses. It may have nothing to do with you at all. Learn more about what to do when a child refuses visitation. It can be a stressful experience if your ex refuses to abide custody orders. I share legal custody with my ex over our 3 children and have them 60% of the time vs. his 40%. Company is claiming I put in my two weeks when I never did and refuses to talk to me about it This company is based in Utah, my friend is 24F. If it is a major issue that affects your child’s safety, you might say, “Let me talk to dad about how you still need to wear a helmet when you're on your skateboard.” 6. We are going to be looking at advanced psychological research on ghosting, reputable polls about breakups and drawing on my own experience of coaching people for a living to come up with legitimate reasons for why your ex won’t talk to you.. Oh, and I haven’t even told you about the best part yet. For whatever reasons, your ex husband has chosen not to communicate or seldom shows an interest in talking to you. Discussion Starter • #1 • Dec 28, 2012. In 2014, the government introduced a presumption that the continued involvement of both parents in a child’s life will best promote that child’s welfare. Go with the flow. 'After a few hours of staying at mine, my son says he wants to go home and doesn’t want to stay overnight.' Talk to your ex and explain to him how important these games and practices are and see if he might come down for them instead of taking your son to his house all the time. He has access to the children via a court order but refuses to pay maintenance, even though the CSA have taken him to court once already. I would also suggest you talk to the coach and explain the situation. I'm not familiar with the terms of the custody order that applies to your family. We’re going to analyze the dumper’s mind and point out the many possible reasons why your ex refuses to talk to you, ignores you, and even blocks you after the breakup. Such a MN cliche, but I used to get really pissed off with my ex for giving DS undiluted fruit shoot and ribena at 14 months old! Last night I made 40 calls- he refused every time. If you don't feel that you can speak openly with your ex about an issue, or it wouldn't be safe to do so, you should formally ask the court to modify your existing child custody agreement. Just go it along for awhile and give your ex what he thinks he wants. This also gives you certain rights that you can take advantage of if your ex won’t obey the orders. Each state has different laws from other states. My ex ( I think under pressure from his new wife) is refusing to communicate about the kids. However, this does not invalidate the visitation order, as the court awarded visitation after evaluating the best interests of the child. Many reasons that may include but may not be limited to the following: 1. For all this time, you have been trying to get him to respond to you. I've been divorced for some years now and we have joint custody of our two boys, ages 10 and 8. Write one every day if you need to. Additionally, your ex-spouse should not be turning your child against you or trying to get your child to refuse visitation. ASK LINDA, PSYCHOTHERAPIST & CHOICE MOM: My ex-partner and I share joint custody of our 12-year-old son, but now she’s stopping me from having any contact with him. I am the custodial parent and he sees them every other weekend and every other Thurs. If it is important that the two of you need to talk, your ex will eventually open up. Question: My ex filed an attempt to withhold my two girls. In a perfect world, they’re able to work together, setting aside their differences and prioritizing the … Today we are going to be talking about why your ex refuses to talk to you after a breakup. Your ex may not realize the negative impact they are having on your child—some parents aren’t emotionally intelligent enough to know the importance of their presence in their child’s life. I just want to talk to my children. 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