His whatchamacallit. Some rats are gonna die today. MISS HONEY You're going to hug all the air out of me. [He finally gives up and straightens up casually.] 9:17, suspect exits domicile. . . Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, MRS WORMWOOD You know, sometimes I think there's something wrong with that girl. MR WORMWOOD MRS PHELPS DOCTOR I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. Look. 140 Pickup lines ideas | pick up lines funny, pick up lines cheesy MISS HONEY turns and sees MISS TRUNCHBULL watching various video screens playing footage of her Olympic games while an announcer narrates dimly in the background. A storm can begin with the flap of a wing. B-R-O-O-C-E! Agatha Trunchbull, principal, Crunchem Hall Elementary School. "Come with me, and I'll show you why it's called the Shrieking Shack.". It was like the entire world went silent for that Does that mean I can get that new TV? MRS WORMWOOD MISS TRUNCHBULL Crazy Credits google_ad_client="pub-0578131977065548"; . RUDOLPHO dances across the back of the stage. Yes, Miss Trunchbull! Come on, move you piece of junkyard fodder! Amanda Thripp: MR WORMWOOD runs over and grabs MATILDA's book. Auuurrrgh! My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ, MISS HONEY laughs and exits down the stairs at the front of the stage. Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. The less you have to sell, the harder you sell it. From now on, this family does *exactly* what I say, when exactly, when I say it! Pp6Q &_!Ekp?$w_AG[nU6v^^Wo:9o>:. MISS HONEY Bye-bye, sir. 7. Lights up. MISS TRUNCHBULL and CHILDREN 'Cause if you're little, you can do a lot. Hmm. Piacelli. MATILDA, LAVENDER, and NIGEL raise their hands. Miss Honey: . And then, my great, big, beautiful chocolate-y burp, which now seemed to have a mind of its own, wafted full into the face of the Trunchbull! Imagine what she is going to do to a horrible, squeaky little goblin like you, boy. Mine are driving me crazy. I have the adoption papers. He's my dance partner. [Harry walks down to the kitchen, unaware that his hair has just turned an unhealthy platinum blonde] MAN: Don't put honey on your brother. The endings are often a little bit gory! You did this! That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a . Standing up for the little spit-ball, are you? MATILDA collects the remains of her book. A table with the word "Contest" emblazoned on the side is wheeled in. MR WORMWOOD Not the end of your nose. There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle An unhatched tadpole. 100 Best Pickup Lines for Girls That Actually Work | by Qasim Adam | ILLUMINATION | Medium 500 Apologies, but something went wrong on our end. A poem? Hey, sleep with me.I am not scary.I'm really rich.I'm Drew Carey. Than the volume with which what you don't know's expressed. One times two is two. She didn't know. . Matilda is a very intelligent and determined young girl appearing in the Roald Dahl children's book of the same name. BRUCE turns around and burps for a full ten seconds. WOMAN: That's right, honey. Are they good runners? . You can adopt me. Before my happy days were Over, BIG KIDS enter menacingly behind the gate. You don't have to cry, you don't have to shout . Who the hell do they think they are? Tricks!" Michael, pencil and paper, in the kitchen. Whoa! You cannot see squat . Do all those brains in your head give you a headache? Nicholas Nickleby . I'm competing in the Bi-Annual International Amateur Salsa and Ballroom Dancing Championships in Paris. She uses the umbrella to bring down the hat and starts lining it with glue.]. The BIG KIDS and CHILDREN scurry away. This it not your problem. According to a constitutional law book that I read in the library, if you don't have one, you could lose your job or even go to federal prison. Sing, Jenny! Just you wait for phys-ed. abilities. MISS TRUNCHBULL After your first day of school! Is your nickname glucose? Not a jot! . CHILDREN Ow! I'm not paying it. It's a library book! Make him stop! A person. But I'm his little soldier. 'Twas written in the stars before they even met. Matilda: Stop being pathetic, Jenny. Well, I'd better hang around just in case. MICHAEL gets up and MR WORMWOOD sits down on his recliner. MRS PHELPS exits with the blocks. Nothing will change. The first car your brilliant father sold cost $320. The novel has an inspirational message that everyone can stand up for themselves against bullies like Matilda does against Mrs. Trunchbull. The Lord of the Rings . This little girl needs somebody strong to fight by her side. MR WORMWOOD Agatha Trunchbull: You see, he fell asleep, and we put him under the coats for safety. MISS TRUNCHBULL Prettier barrelina! DOCTOR "If I were a stop light I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.". Agatha Trunchbull: MATILDA I don't know what you're talking about. This living 'ell. MRS WORMWOOD is behind the curtain. As I stepped up to the circle, did I change my plan? FBI Agent Bob: You don't need happiness or self-esteem. MRS PHELPS He dances with the hospital bed that MRS WORMWOOD is lying on. Trunchbull: Harry Wormwood: You liked my cake, didn't you, Bruce? [to Nigel] When did this happen? In my class, that is, er, there is a little girl called Matilda Wormwood. That's exactly what you've done. An audience cheers. So, what is it? 1. No. Yes. They then saunter off. Narrator: . Won't change a thing. MR WORMWOOD SHUT UP AND LEAVE US ALONE! I . [She grabs a baton with a yellow ribbon attached to it and starts twirling to the music.] Miss Honey: [suspicious] My daddy says I'm his special little guy! I'm not in favor of girls getting all clever-pants, Miss Hussy. And . 5. Get out of it! Zinnia Wormwood: endobj PICK UP LINES! DOCTOR 31 Wonderful Sexy Pick Up Lines - Mantelligence Upon the blackboard is written the alphabet. Oh MISS HONEY . . BIG KID [TAMIKA] Narrator: We can spell "difficulty". You shall be . What? Not a detail of my throw was adjusted or forgotten. Let out your belt. But nobody else is gonna put it right for me. With her, it's all "books" and "stories". Matilda Quotes by Roald Dahl - Goodreads Matilda Wormwood is an exception . The more you'll just look like a fool. Every new life Do you ever lie down at night, look up at the stars and think about all the messed-up things in the world? 'Pfffft,' you think, 'what's so grand about some silly math pick-up line?' This miracle . If you want to throw the hammer for your country. Matilda's teacher? Stand out from the crowd! She has never seen a! Wouldn't you agree, Miss Honey? Their furniture is wheeled off the stage and a hat rack with MR WORMWOOD's hat and an umbrella is brought center stage. MISS TRUNCHBULL strides to the board. Look what you've done, you stupid woman. 101 Best Pick Up Lines: Cheesy, Funny, Cute - Parade: Entertainment COUPLE 3 Don't just stand there like a wet tissue. [to MATILDA] This is your fault. [insulted] Then your mummy is a twit! Was it magic? Agatha Trunchbull: . But unless you want to suffer, listen up Yeah. Jenny: Go fig-ueur! Oh, parle Italiano? Zinnia Wormwood: No! Tomorrow at one? Look! Knock on the door, Jenny. If I give the crowd their money back, where is my profit?! . Every life I bring into this world | You're the spitting image. I'm telling you, I didn't do it! 28 of the best book quotes from Matilda. Harry Wormwood: Look, I don't suppose we could exchange it for a boy, could we? Oh, my undercarriage doesn't feel quite normal. MRS WORMWOOD puts a number on RUDOLPHO's back as though they are competing in a dancing competition. I invite you to reply with your own cheesy agent pickup lines, as long as they aren't crossing the line of harassment (actually scrapped a Reyna line for that reason). MISS TRUNCHBULL walks heavily toward the coats. . I'm gonna sue you, I'm gonna burn down your showroom! MISS TRUNCHBULL flails victoriously, then starts blowing her whistle. ACROBAT [off-stage] 1 0 obj You are a teacher. The ACROBAT enters from the back of the stage, and the ESCAPOLOGIST takes her by the hand. MISS HONEY exits off the front of the stage. Now, get out of here, you little stink worm! Considerably roomier inside. Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty! They line up at the back of the stage. I did not! Five times two is ten. There's nothing to fear. Of course! Write this down. To survive this mess by Being a prince or a princess. Miss Honey: Great, big, question-asking . . The subsequent fall was inevitable. Agatha Trunchbull: Don't tell me. She holds the hat out to him. That makes me so happy. So innocent I asked a thousand questions. . RUDOLPHO enters from behind a gap in the curtain behind her. Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. Because you're pretty darn sweet. Angrily, MISS TRUNCHBULL looks from NIGEL to MATILDA and back. The scene switches to the Wormwood's living room. What am I gonna do? . But Harry's ranting and raving gave Matilda the key to her power. The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS step back, leaving AMANDA in a spotlight. You are a crook. "Hi, My Name Is [insert name]." I'd say this one is the number one pick-up line of all time. Agatha Trunchbull: Hide me! We're rehearsing. In the slip of a bolt, there's a tiny revolt. BIG KIDS As I was saying, Matilda. [Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage]. AAAAAHHHHH! MISS TRUNCHBULL grabs AMANDA by the pigtails and swings her around and around. Yes, please. MRS PHELPS Oh, did I not mention? 2. Well, this isn't my room at all! LAVENDER puts the wooden spoon back in his hand. My daddy says I'm a bore. You It's the mileage. Bruce 'Little Brucey: [Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart]. BRUCE You're almost finished. Who is this, babe? This miracle . Where did you get those? The DOCTOR and the CHILDREN sing into their stethoscopes. MISS TRUNCHBULL This boy's got no fingie. You show the little brat! . If you took your time , CHILDREN And this . I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. One day when I'm older, Jack and Jill went up the hill To the rules. This is the cottage from your story! Narrator: MISS HONEY See, I know your headmistress. MRS PHELPS exits as a siren wails and the scene changes to Crunchem Hall Academy. How does that sound? The vanity rises again, signifying morning. To fetch a pail of water. Isn't there something you can do? Who you been talking to? [picks up two bowls of cereal] See how my trophies gleam in the sunlight? The CHILDREN thrash in their seats. On a boat, in a car, with your toes all curled - Oh, the places we'll go when I rock your world. 150 Pokemon Pick Up Lines (Cheesy, Funny & Dirty) - 2023 I might have known. Two times . But my mummy likes them! Like, why is there a "d" in "fridge" but . My school is a model of discipline! And what sort of teacher would I be If you were six-and-a-half, you'd be in school already. And this gown is nothing like the semi-formal, I need to talk to SOMEBODY besides our stupid kids! Where are you going? This clot, this foul carbuncle is none other than a disgusting criminal! [hands the car drill to Mikey, then walks to Matilda] %PDF-1.5 MISS HONEY And that's not right! But it's a truth empirical It was the biggest burp I had ever heard, the biggest burp I had ever heard about. MATILDA If I let this little girl fall? I swear, I won't take our love for granite. When I grow up . [Harry and Zinnia are leaving the hospital with the baby]. Mrs. Wormwood: . AMANDA It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. CHILDREN And always keep your feet inside the line! A party entertainer enters with balloons. [while putting baby Matilda in the sink to rinse away spinach] I chose looks! Dr. Seuss Pick Up Lines. Oh, my head! Funny Tinder pickup lines. No, it's fine. Oh, let's put it this way. What? Do I allow pigs in my school? They are good runners, sir. Oh, right. 10. And if I couldn't teach, I'd have nothing at all. Matilda: Harry Wormwood: You are a thief! MATILDA I'll come back later, then. BIG KID [BEN] What do you think might be the cause of this? You'll never again be subject to abuse for your immense caboose. It was the age of wisdom . Just you wait for phys-ed! I will not say anymore! Matilda? Well, take another! Harry Wormwood: . 5. But learning a language is over the top . Matilda: PARTY ENTERTAINER I'm Lavender, and I think it's probably for the best if we're best friends! [speaking to Matilda about her and her father] MISS HONEY[placatingly] Miss Trunchbull. Most parents believe their children are the most beautiful creatures ever to grace the planet. The table stops and the hands hit the ground. MISS HONEY faces the audience and raises her fist. I'm not hinting, but if you did happen to have a story you wanted . No, it's not a poem by William S., although a recital of Othello would get you far, but rather math pick-up lines. And even if you could, BIG KIDS Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, [Miss Trunchbull has accused Matilda of going into her house]. <>>> $5,000? MATILDA . Michael: Zinnia Wormwood: ? This morning, you sneaked like a serpent into the kitchen and stole a slice of my private chocolate cake from my tea tray. If you sit around and let them get on top, you Even time loves us.". You should read it. [She pauses and realizes what she has done, and slowly lowers her hands.] MATILDA And . [after Matilda destroys the Wormwoods' TV with her powers] [He does a split in front of MISS HONEY. What do you think it took to become English Hammer Throwing Champion 1969? Are you ready to get STICKY with MICKEY? A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. ". She's probably having a meeting or something and won't want to be interrupted. Not yet, anyway. Oh, no, it's a lovely book. Is like the TARDIS: Any children who object will go straight into the Chokey together! What a pleasure to see you. I'll be watching you, each and every one. It occurred to her that such talking dragons and princesses with hair long enough to climb such people might *only* exist in story books. When I grow up, (When I grow up, when I grow up) I will be strong enough to carry all The heavy things you have to haul Around with you When you're a grown up And when I grow up, Hup, two, four, free. The entire assembly will stay five hours after school and copy from the dictionary! MISS HONEY, BIG KIDS, and CHILDREN Back before my life had eNded, You should be embarrassed. . MR WORMWOOD and MICHAEL exit. Matilda: To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice. 8. Mum says I'm an angel sent down from the sky! ERIC, TOMMY, and BRUCE For men. But she is a squib. . MATILDA . Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen, ha ha ha ha Jenny: What's wrong with me? [He sits down in a zen position.]. And honestly, I was really, definitely, sort of, almost thinking about owning up. We can have our cake and it it too! The condition is characterised by the sufferer experiencing bouts of chronic fatigue, and falling suddenly asleep, often without knowing, or any warning at all. That is the biggest hug in the world. [She stands and approaches MISS HONEY menacingly, towering over her.] As the hammer took off, did I change my grunt Can't you sell good cars, Dad? Well, Matilda Wormwood. So innocent I (R) asked a thousand questions, And I shall crush you. Well done, Bogtrotter. [strikes a desktop with her riding crop and all the children instantly face forward] People don't like smarty-pants what go 'round CHILDREN It's your father who's going to federal prison. Matilda: I can be a soldier. A fool? How do you do this? If you cooperate, we'll make sure it's a nice orphanage. Now, look. She then sniffs her way across the room, following the former path of the spotlight. Qui mon fella Italiano. Mrs. Wormwood: Oh, yes. MISS TRUNCHBULL turns off the screens with a remote and wheels around, holding a magnifying glass. A DOCTOR enters. Harry Wormwood: MISS HONEY "So I hear you are the Head Girl of your house". MISS HONEY steps away from MATILDA as MISS TRUNCHBULL enters by the blackboard. Matilda turns around and carrot is facing her. ], CHILDREN As me. Look at him go! I have suffered in this jail. No one is as handsome, strong as me. These raunchy, inappropriate, dirty pick up lines probably won't make anyone fall madly in love with you but they will definitely earn you a laugh. Sixteen times two is thirty-two. MATILDA starts pouring the hair dye into the Oil of Violets bottle. Here. They never stood a chance. [reciting the words as Matilda magically writes them on the blackboard] [to MICHAEL] Get up, boy. "I don't have any muggle money, but I do have a sickle and two knuts.". Fortunately, almost everything in Christianity is sin. Oh, yeah. [He takes out a cigar and takes hold of the baby.] MRS PHELPS retreats to the smaller block and sits down. MR WORMWOODOh, this is thick! What?! MR WORMWOOD, towel wrapped about his shoulder, enters the bathroom with MICHAEL. I am off to bleach my roots . I should be dancing the Tarentella A bell rings. The lawyer who defended you would have gone to college, too. Mrs Wormwood, I want you to think very carefully. We never thought it was possible, You gotta give yourself permission to shine. Creep on back to that library of yours or something. . AAAIIGHHH! Jenny: [COUPLES Oh, er, hello. 105 Cute Pick-Up Lines That'll Make Them Smile And Text You Back They are all dressed in costume: Eric as Batman, Tommy as the . Even if what you got is not a lot. You slithered like a serpent into the school kitchen and ate MY PERSONAL SNACK! Past Lavender. [to MATILDA] You! They are all dressed in costume: Eric as Batman, Tommy as the Incredible Hulk, Lavender as a Princess, Nigel as Spiderman, Bruce in army gear, Amanda as Superwoman, Alice as Wonder Woman, Hortensia as a queen. I wonder why they didn't just change their story. Oh, yes. I'm incredible! So you're Wormwood, are you? Ha, ha, ha, ha Harry Wormwood: Someone told her I did it, but I never! MISS TRUNCHBULL Agatha Trunchbull: Harry Wormwood: Dosvedoo-dah. BRUCE Soundtracks, hands the car drill to Mikey, then walks to Matilda, after listing prices of cars bought and sold, he, Zinnia, and Mikey glance at the paper, then at Matilda, Harry takes his first look at Matilda, grunts, and leaves, Harry and Zinnia are leaving the hospital with the baby, mimicking Amanda with a high-pitched tone, everyone in the room except Miss Trunchbull and Miss Honey join in, strikes a desktop with her riding crop and all the children instantly face forward, whacks the desk again with her riding crop, Miss Trunchbull has accused Matilda of going into her house, grabbing and clenching Miss Honey's wrist very tightly in her fist, suddenly mad, she briskly releases her arm from Miss Trunchbull's grip with her free hand, Matilda comes home from school, excitedly. . Yes. Matilda (1996) - Quotes - IMDb Cancelled, because my wife is . At night, they listened to the silence of their big, empty house, and they would imagine how beautiful it would be if it was filled with the sound of a child playing. No! Oh, my word, he's an ugly little thing. A celebration of all the wonderful green things in the world, like, er, oh, like lettuce, and snot. This calls for a proper smoke. How far can you go? There's not a lot of difference in size. MR WORMWOOD Try to be funny, or clever, or both! Only when they deserved it, of course. The room freezes as MISS TRUNCHBULL starts to write the word "GUILTY" on the board. She stands paralyzed in fear. It was the worst of times. OLDER KIDS A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. MATILDA and the ACROBAT'S SISTER [off-stage] Yes. I am *not* seven years old anymore, Aunt Trunchbull! BRUCE "But we do not have the one thing in the world we want most.".
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